no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
