He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
