Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
