i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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