oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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