I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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