is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
