Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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