do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
