Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
