He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my shit smells like andre
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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