i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
