I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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