Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
