Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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