I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
