Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
