You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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