I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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