ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
