So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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