I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
they're like a gay fantastic four
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
