will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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