Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize