maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
