I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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