your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
