Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
