i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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