I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
