So drunk, too bad you don't want this
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
