Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
