On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
