What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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