well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
