I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
did i just pee glitter
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
