So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
