I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
