you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
