Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
