my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
