If i come over, it means nothing
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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