I am spending my child support on dildos
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
