I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
