I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
