I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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