I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
