So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
