My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
