I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
